The morning

COLOUR KEY (Read)
Kadath is red.
Chie is blue.

When I wake up in the morning, generally the first thing I do is take my pain medication. There is almost always a 5 minute hallucination period from both my exhaustion and the meds. So I get up, and do exactly that, and when I return to the room Chie is already up and she walks over to me an-

You forgot that I was naked. Are you that afraid of having details like that?

No, I just don't want to talk about our sex lives online, but anyways if you would let me finish talking... and drops her bath robe (There, are you happy?)and all of a sudden, I start hallucinating and Chie's face distorts into this freaky ass scream, and then my ears start ringing.

Guess what he says next folks? He shoves me away and says "I'm sorry miss mythological Siren, I don't think my wife would like you doing this.." Yeah, thats exactly what the tripped out fucker said.

Yep.

I was sick and tired of giving out empty threats, so I put my clothes on and go to the next door neighbours place and ask if I could see their cute little Chihuahua for awhile.

And it begins...

Amazingly enough, they let me borrow their cute little Chihuahua on the grounds that I return him in 30 minutes.

I forgot about that! Those people are begging for a dog napping!

So I go home..

MY.

I have the Chihuahua follow me upstairs...

WIFE.

I open the door to our room...

IS.

I let the Chihuahua into our room...

INSANE!!!

Then I shut the door, pick up the poor shaky little thing

Here it comes....

And I wave the chihuahua under his nose for a couple seconds, and then I set it back down and have it follow me out of the room.

And thanks to my goddamn allergies, I get all puffy, my nose starts bleeding and I pass out. Now, what the hell did I tell you?! My wife is a fucking HOMICIDAL PSYCHOPATH.

Admit it. Thats why you love me.

If you do that again Chie, I swear I will....

Yeah, he couldn't think of a good come back threat, especially after I called him a chihuahua lover and he about had a heart attack. So thats all for today! ^-^

-Kadath Bird
-Chie Bird